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Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Christmas: A (Ocean Spray) Cranberry Christmas

Christmas 





     I was shifting through my DVD-R's and found one that was filled with recordings from November to December 2008. It had random stuff filling it's six hours, but one thing that popped out to me was a recording from ABC Family in December a special called "A Cranberry Christmas" .  This special I vaguely remember it's like a special that exists then disappears so it's forgotten.

    The special is based off a 1976 book of the same time. This special is more than though. You see, Ocean Spray, the company known for cranberries decided to make this into a special. For some reason. Like, they never  made one before or since. They even roped in getting Barry Manilow because Barry Manilow. I wonder how that meeting went. It was presented by Ocean Spray on ABC Family meaning everyone else some how passed up this glorious special and they went to basic cable instead. It was commercial free because Ocean Spray. 

            Even the recording has an introduction by the then Ocean Spray ad campaign of two guys. They tried to make it look like a picture book but Ocean Spray didn't splash out their cash.  They have a narrator who is also Barry Manilow. (Hey Barry, while you are here doing the songs, could you also narrate, k thanks)  The animation isn't something to write about, 1960's Hanna and Barbera would think it's too stiff.  
  
         The first song is Barry Manilow signing that Christmas is just around the corner. (It's waiting around for you to come by and take your cash)   We meet the two main characters named Maggie, a little girl, I think and her Grandma named Grandma.   There's an old man named Mr. Grape who says he owns a pond.  Then another guy, with a beard, named Mr. Whiskers. (Really!) says no that' s his bog not a pond. I hope you like them going back and forth between saying cranberry pond and cranberry bog.   Maybe they could  pop open  a bottle of Ocean Spray 100% Cranberry Mango juice and talk it over. 
I'm a Jets fan you idiot, the Patriots suck!/ Copyright Ocean Spray (I think)



            Whiskers says that his father grew cranberries there and so did his grandfather and people before him. How else you do you think we get delicious Ocean Spray 100% cranberry pomegranate juice?  (yes)  Grandma goes out stops the men from fighting, and they apparently, are scared of her power.

I said dance/ Copyright Ocean Spray 



          She offers them cranberry cookies. (Made with real Ocean Spray  Crasins(R) )  Grape hates cookies. Grandma tells the two men to search for the deed to prove it's their property.  Could have thought of that earlier, but they might be idiots.  (Just like you would be if you don't buy Ocean Spray's fresh black berries that's right they sale other fruits!)  Whiskers' house is a mess and Mr. Grape figures out he might not have rights to the pond. (bog) He just wants peace in winter, but children like to skate on the bog (pond) and annoy him.  He could just move but alright. (He should really try Ocean Spray Cranberry sauce, it's good for any occasion and calms you down with it's soothing jiggle) 
Santa doesn't look so good/ Copyright Ocean Spray




            Cyrus Grape gets the smart idea , by smart I mean stupid,  to make sure that Whiskers doesn't find the deed. Whiskers is already having a hard time himself because his house is a mess anyway. (He really should take an Ocean Spray Cranberry + Health supplement to clear his mind and clean up)  Magge comes over to Mr. Whiskers' house to check on him. (He might have died from not drinking Ocean Spray 100% Grapefruit juice)  Maggie an envelope from Mr.Whiskers' sister who lives in the city, she is coming over on Christmas Eve (she has no concern over her brother might be busy or something, and eating his Ocean Spray Crasins (R) with Blue Berries)  



       He also needs to check his mail more anyway his sister says she will somehow make him live with her in the City. (what?)  No sure how she can do that, they are both adults, he could say no, kick her off his property and have her arrested if she doesn't leave. (Then drink a fresh glass of Ocean Spray Cran-Engregy drink) Thanks to Grape being creepy, he can over hear everything and try to mess up things. (Arrest him too and take away his Ocean Spray sparkling Cran-Raspberry juice)  


      Grandma thinks it makes sense that an adult woman can take an adult man and force him to the city.(she's not been the same since that reindeer ran her over)  Now Cyrus Grape does more creepy things by standing outside Maggie and Grandma's house. He also breaks an entry and messes up Whiskers' house. They also have Barry Manilow sing a knock off "You're a Mean one, Mr. Grinch". Really though, do arrest this man. (and make sure he can never have Cranberry spicy enchiladas  again ) 
Dear Brother, I have no name so I don't remember yours so /Copyright Ocean Spray

       more after the jump

   
             The only thing in the special that made me laugh was the camera zooming into Grape's laughter and breaking in his face. Also Grape, really messed up the house, and should be arrested. Thanks to his stupidity though, they do find the deed I think.  Maggie, Grandma, and Whiskers use the power of Christmas to clean the house. (Not as good as Pine Sol)  Whiskers' sister is also annoying and really makes no sense to the plot, probably. (What does make sense is Cranberry year-round turkey sliders
He broke the camera and messed up the budget/Copyright Ocean Spary


         The house is clean because Christmas Christmas.  The sister wasn't actually thinking about thinking taking him to the City, but actually wants to move in there. (No)  The next morning, Grape threatens to have children arrested by the Sheriff  (bold move for a man who broke into a house) Luckily, Whiskers brought one with him. Whiskers also has the deed to the pond (bog). 
She's wearing red like a cranberry/ Copyright Ocean Spray



       They do the thing were they feel bad for the grumpy old man and ask him to join them to skate. (Sure alright) Also he was mad that he never was asked skate since he was a child... what?  I guess that was an ending.  



            This was a weird special. I put more Ocean Spray references in this post than they did, so it wasn't a heavy sales pitch lead special. That's good.  It's not top quality but it could have been worse. The songs aren't bad but  there are better Barry Manilow songs and even Christmas songs. I said this already but the animation is kind of stilted, they were maybe trying do the picture book approach, but forgot that animation should be more fluid or something.  It's not an awful special where it's like woah, but  it's not the best either. The story is there, because they want to have these plot mixes to have Whiskers' sister be there mostly to clean up the house, and have Grape there to destroy the house to have the deed show up, it was strange. 

    That's it for now, tune in next time when we stop drinking cranberry juice for the first time ever! 

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