Well this is different. Yes I say this a TV blog in the sense we talk about well, television but we do sometimes have to veer away from that as I also consider this to be a blog that talks about the media (though rarer than talking about the Peanuts) we instead take a look at a movie. This movie is something.
Our movie is from 1959 and called "Santa Claus" it's about Abe Lincoln. (we kid) Santa Claus was made in Mexico in Spanish but was picked up the next year in for U.S viewers in English. For you MS3TK fans it's been featured there, so for the first time that I can that about something on this blog.
This bodes well huh?
The movie starts with titles and credits with Jingle Bells playing and takes about 1:40 to get to the movie. Apparently Santa Claus doesn't live in the North Pole, no he's in space right above the North Pole. (That's kind of strange) Spaces Santa is laughing as he decorates his house and it's almost Christmas . Also Santa doesn't have elves working in his toy shop, nope he has children as the announcer put its they are from different parts of the world. ( Why dose Santa have children working for him, that seems to be not something that Santa should be doing?) After going through each location of where he gets children from , they go through each stereo type of what you think of when the mention a location. (Though weirdly , England's kids are just singing London Bridge, for some reason)
Don't get mad that some got their countries others got regions it's 6 minutes long , good to hurry it up.
This movie is like 90 minutes long and they spent nearly 6 minutes on the thing with the kids. Then we go to the devil (what am I watching?) and his underworld where apparently he does interpretative dance. There's one demon that he wants to send to our world named Pitch to make the children of the world do evil , his punishment would be ice cream. (noooooo!)
Ice Cream would just melt , wouldn't it ?
Earth now, and the children gaze at stuff they want for Christmas. We focus on a mother who is very poor and she has a daughter named Lupita who wants a doll. Also there 3 boys that the devil wants to use for his evil plan to make kids evil. They already have turned against Santa. So yes Santa and the devil are enemies. Santa wishes he could stop him but he can only go down on Christmas Eve. (Why? You are magical but fine , plot reasons)
Did you know Santa has a magic telescope? Well he does, he uses it to spy on children. He also also has machine the knows everything, a machine that can listen to everything and see everything. (The government's dream) So Santa and 3 of his worker children decide to spy on the girl we saw earlier, Lupita in Mexico. She apparently was thinking about stealing a doll and Pitch tries to make sure she does it but the narrator doesn't want her to. (What?) She decides not to steal it.
This is just strange
Santa is happy that she didn't listen to the devil. There is a machine that can also find any child no matter where they are and they use it to find another child who is sleeping. So of course Santa invades the little rich boy's dream. (Personal space Santa.) He dreams that his parents are wrapped in boxes to be opened on Christmas day. (alright then) Santa says that all he wants is the love of his parents. Then they spy on Lupita's dream. (because why not?) The devil decides to also bother Lupita while she's sleeping. (This Lifetime movie is not strange enough) Apparently Lupita dreams that she has a doll and is surrounded by living dolls. (what?)
Disturbing
One of the dolls wants her to be evil but she doesn't be evil. This wakes her up . Santa says Pitch way pay but again has to wait for Christmas Eve because reasons Now it's time to spy on the 3 boys there were being bad earlier. They conspire to lie to Santa about being good this year but he heard them oh he doesn't like being called old.
Now we get children writing letters to Santa , it was kind of cut in there randomly, (When do the martians show up? What? Oooh we should have looked at that movie instead) Ever wonder how Santa gets his mail in space? Well the mail dumps into some thing and it flies up a Chimney into space into a door in Santa's house. Also just for fun , one child asks Santa for a brother so since they were good he arranges the later for the stork. Those parents are going to be happy, how does he know they even want another kid ? Come on Santa!
ehh not my problem
It's almost Christmas Eve and he tells his children workers to umm keep on working. You know what this movie was missing? Yes Merlin, the wizard. Merlin is Santa's helper and he has a magic lab in space with Santa. They only see each other once a year. Also there's blacksmith who makes a key that opens all doors. (creepy) Then Santa ummm exercises. (what am I watching?)
Merlin is not wizard in the kitchen though
Also Half this movie is Santa laughing. Santa has a sleigh pulled by plastic reindeer that the worker children clean while singing. Santa has to get back before the sunrise or the reindeer will turn to dust. (why?) This Santa eats a diet of pastries and ice cream of clouds. (what?) He says that on Earth we eat everything. (better than clouds ?) So Santa finally can go to Earth now.
Mars?
Rich boy's parent have rich parent things to do so they'll leave him at home as they see him in the morning. Meanwhile the 3 bad boys want to capture Santa , take his stuff and make him their slave. (What am I watching?) Lupita wonders who Santa Claus , and he's never brought her any dolly. Oh yeah there was a devil in this movie, Pitch is freezing and he hears Santa Claus. His plan is to stop Santa by moving a Chimney out of place. (that's how they work?) So, Santa goes to the spot and he tries to go down the chimney and he smells Pitch is around. Santa uses his parasol to land on the ground to get in the house, because apparently chimneys don't have holes that lead to fire places?
more after the jump
When children wake up he can knock them out with Merlin's powder to continue his deed. Pitch puts the Chimney back in place (this movie hurts my head) so Santa blows smoke at him. Pitch's next plot is to set Santa on fire , but Santa can see fire so whoops. (umm Pitch's plans are to mildly annoy Santa.) Then he tries to make the door knob so Santa will burn his hand, but Santa sees him and breaks in through the window. (I'm not joking , Pitch's plans are to mildly annoy Santa) So Santa takes a little cannon and shoots it at Pitch and sticks a dart in his butt. (what am I watching?)
movie has time for this
Rich boy wakes up and wonders through his rich empty house he's sad because his parents aren't there. So as sad children do, he practices his piano. Santa comes in the house where he's a sleep and umm wakes up rich boy but makes him awake while dreaming. (Merlin has some weird powders) Ole Santa talks to him and the boy asks if Santa loves him and Santa says yes, then Santa says that his parents do love him and now go back to sleep. (well aright then) Rich Parents were partying still and they handed drinks ones that will make them remember something they forgot. They drink and remember they have a son. Yes Santa, posed as a waiter and gave them a drink that makes them want to go home to see their son.
We have son? Oh wow
Pitch goes the three bad boys and uses their evil to umm do evil. So they try to kidnap the Santa Claus ,beat him with stick. (sorry we were remembering a better movie) A Giant ball of light flashed and they check to see if Santa brought anything but he didn't. Pitch gets the boys to internally fight each other. Santa comes down another chimney and Pitch tries to steal the sleigh but he can't control plastic reindeer. His next plan is to cut the bag with Merlin's sleeping powers. (The narrator seemed more worried than I do) He also loses his flower that makes him disappear.
no wonder they were bad , the live in a jail?
There's a dog at one of the houses and Pitch tells the dog to get him because Santa doesn't have the flower anymore. Santa releases his powder and flower are gone so he climbs a tree. Pitch goes to wake up everyone. He causes one man to wake up and get his gun. Santa calls Merlin because remember Santa has the all hearing thing, but no one is there to monitor the system. Meanwhile Pitch tries to scare Lupita and wakes her up and Santa Claus won't give her anything because she's poor.
Finally, someone hears Santa's calls and Merlin tells Santa to use a wind up cat to deter the dog. Oh the police come , and the ambulance comes, and the people who live the homes come out. . Santa makes it out and he has to visit Lupita. Pitch gets hit by fire fighters. Santa's flower has landed in Lupita's house. Her mother is awoken by a knock at the door and it's her husband who hasn't found work. (that was random) Lupita wakes up saying that Santa visited her and told her about the deer turning into dust thing. Oh and Santa got her a doll. umm the end.
She was then also thrown in jail.
Well that was a thing, anyway tune in next time when I stop wondering why Santa has child labor.
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